The Phantom of Mount Hebron
by Single-Black-Rose
Summary: well there is this masked kid running around our school choas and bananas to come! crack fic extreme weirdness lalala
1. Chapter 1

well its me again new story warning crack fic if you don't like don't read i have now warned you

this first chapter is a cowrite with sugar-high pixie and Elavanya but i'm probally going to be writing the rest solo

poto belongs to ALW and MTH belongs to my counties public school system not me!

enjoy or else totles!

* * *

Deep within mwuahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Deep within what?!?!? You can't just start evil laughing in the middle of the sentence you'll end up dead at the hands of a mob of rabid, killer fan boys! The gods looked upon this being and smite them, and the narrator was ALLOWED to carry on with the story.

So to continue, DEEP WITHIN THE BOWELS THE OF MOUNT HEBRON! Laid an evil so foul, so putrid, it made moldy gym socks smell good. It was the evil that was not to be named, and it was awake.

But what fate awaited the school, none, for the monster was thought to have been destroyed in the renovations, alone with the orphanage that was next door, leaving the school haunted with lost souls.

And the theater was built to look like an opera house, with a giant chandelier.

"Can we even afford this?" Colleen asked gazing upon the ceiling eating a muffin.

"Yeah! They got rid of the band room, so now they have to practice outside on a tarp."

"And they got rid of the second floor, so now we all have to take math and science on the 1st floor with the art class and the creepy alien children."

A group of blued eye toddlers passed by, "We know what you thinking"

"Oh no that's normal their Irish, so it's okay." Beth explained

"When I was born I almost set the entire hospital on fire," Colleen snorted, chewing on her muffin.

"You set things on fire!" Katie yelled running up to then in tutu with fairy wings and her converse with colleen's bra on her head.

"yea but only as a child the Irish normally grow out of their strange abilities by the time we're 6 or 7 I can't do much now, just a few sparks now and again mostly when I'm mad...HEY IS THAT MY BRA ON YOU'RE HEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? A few of the trees behind her burst in to flames along with several cars and a UFO which then crashed in to a passing soccer goalie. All on board the craft perished but the goalie somehow escaped unharmed: in fact said goalie didn't even notice. The U.S. government, FBI, Scotland Yards, and several others, slightly more secret organizations are now looking in to what the soccer team is doing in their spare time, secretly of course.

"IT MINE, ALL MINE" Katie yelled as she ran away on a giant calculator, "FREEDOM!"

"Well that was odd." Beth mumbled, "So you can set things on fire, Fun!"

"Not for my parents"

The two hiked up their bags and headed for class. Just then as a large group of pirates jumped out of nowhere, and decided to have a battle in the middle of the way too small hallway

"Arrrgg, you swine you will die for you treachery," a pirate Capitan yelled to the other

"Not in your lifetime, Azular Princess Rainbow Woman of the Night Flower Child of the Gangis Clan upon high volcano rock!

"I'm a man you pox ridden wrench!"

"That may be true, but your hair still shines like dew in morning!"

"WHAT! DIE FOOL!"

The first captain drew his celery and leaped towards his opponent, slashing and hacking at the air before him. The second captain met his opponent's celery with a carrot and the fighting commenced.

"What a strange school," a student commented walking by, an agenda book under their arm, "I hope they don't ask me for a pass." Shrugging, the unnamed student continued on. As if hearing her words Mr. Riley appeared and asked to see her pass.

A bell rang, startling the fighting pirates. "What is this devilry? The sound, it burns my ears!" The pirates scattered unable to cope with the shrill sound. All that remained was a torn celery leaf drifting to the floor.

"The phantom of the opera is heeeeeeeeereeeeeee…." The voice rang throughout the hallway as the students made their way to their next class. Only one student with a really bad foehawk looked up at the odd sound.

"What was that?" he asked his friend.

"The rats, we try to ignore them."

"I'm a rat, am I?" The voice asked in the ceiling.

"Are we sure that's not the earth science teacher right?'

"OH no, he couldn't pull off the whole cape and mask thing."

"Right!"

And they disappeared forever in to the abyss never to be seen again.

"Well I hope Katie can find her way to first period," Colleen fused. As she and Beth plunged in the most deadly part of the school, the center hallway. A place so filled with death traps, government papers, projectile band geeks/theater nerds, and the worst of all rabid PDA, that it made the D-day landing at Normandy at stroll on the beach.

"She will don't worry," Beth yawned as she dogged a particularly large and fast moving band geek. "I wouldn't expect to get that bra back if I were you"

"I'm not even though that was my favorite bra."

"I don't want to go to class it's too early"

"Well, look on the bright side at least we haven't had a zombie invasion yet," colleen mused as the two ducked in to first period. "It will always be too early in the morning for that."

* * *

well thats it all there is

tune in next week (or when ever i can get another post in) for............ wait for.... the first sighting of well i'mnot going to tell you muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i shall bring chaos in my wake!!


	2. Chapter 2

wow i'm back with more quick then i though you all better hide! any way thank the snow day well here's the second chapter enjoy the crazynessness lovies

i still don't own The phanton of the Opera all other character are own by themselves.

* * *

Mean while deep within those bowels of Mt. Hebron that we were talking about a while ago, there sat a man, one with an odd fondness for singing nonsense out of tune

"Lalalalalalalala AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE"

And he had a cold, a very bad cold, a cold so bad that it was starting to drive the man insane, so insane that he had even started to think of himself as a musical genius.

Did we mention that he was hot, very, very, hot, and so hot that he could fry eggs by just looking at them. Quite the twist no you thought he would be ugly, no. Well we'll make him have 11 toes, so there. You did not completely fail. On with the fic! Not to mention the fact that everyone knew him as the football captain, but we'll get to that later.

Above the school,

Beth covered her ears, for she was picking up a sound that could only rival that sound of Katie's banshee scream. "Make it stop! Make it stop!' She screamed

Ms. Rosendorf glanced up her from droning on about forensics and the importance of finger prints, "Beth do you need to go to the health office?"

Before Beth could answer, Ms. Rosendorf was carried off by pirates. "Take us to the booty!" They yelled as they carried her out the door.

"I'll be back students. Read a case file!" She told them as she was carried off down the hall. Of course, no one did this and the room was filled with gossip, the most came from the gold fish also know as Corry.

Beth sighed, as she looked at Colleen and Savannah and Danielle, who were engaged in a rather intense game of TIC TAC TOE.

"NO I'm X's" Savannah screamed brandishing a pen, with its cap off.

Danielle simply stood up and flicked her long blonde hair, and adjusted her rather gifted chest. It was so gifted it could play the piano. "Well I declare, that your action is a direct result of aggravated assault, and I declare the fifth amendment, therefore-"

"No. Not legal terms! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Savannah screamed ducking under Colleen's chair. Colleen meanwhile, was having an intense conversation with her desk, or maybe she was sleeping. It was hard to tell, because her head was buried in a pot.

All of a sudden a crisp Scottish accent rang out, "SOMEONE GET THIS GRIL OFF ME!"

A tall man ran in, in a rather nice tweed jacket, and blonde girl who was hanging of his neck and wrap her legs around his waist.

Savannah leaped upon the table, "its David Tennent!"

Beth shoved her over, "No it's the Doctor!' and she brandished her sonic screw driver.

"It's not going to matter in a minute, unless someone can get Katie off him." Danielle commented as she grabbed colleen and hauled her through the air, at the screaming actor/doctor.

Wham! Katie was knocked off, but she didn't try to get back on, but simply grabbed his shoes, "NOW YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE!"

"She's right, I can't." The man sighed, standing up. Beth and Savannah ogled; the rest of the class ignored them, too caught up in hypnotic word puzzles and game boys, which just happen to be part of Mrs. Rosendorf's plot to create a zombie army to take over the world: to care what was going on around them.

"You're gorgeous. Can I hold you?" Savannah asked, approaching him and reverting to her famed puppy eye.

"…well…I…what year is this?" The strange man asked pulling at Savannah short hair.

"He's touching me! He's touching me! Ahhhhhhh! IT means he loves me, in your face Beth!" Savannah screamed. Beth could not take this and tackled her, crushing Colleen under her feet while she did.

He looked around the class, most of the kids had ignored his entrance, and even the penguins had ignored him."So um what time period is this?"

Danielle looked up from her comparative homework, and flipped her hands, tossing her hair. Several people died from watching this spectacle, "this is Mount Hebron High school, the year 2009, and you are teaching Forensics.'

"Ah. Thank you. Um, should I teach you?" He asked picking up a random book, "Forensics for Dummies. This is what they teach you from?'

'Yes, pathetic isn't it."

"I'll say. You need experience. Hands on with, no fake blood"

Wham! And down fell three bodies. "All right! Everybody grab a partner."

One guy raised his head asking the most annoying, "What?" before returning to his conversation.

Savannah and Beth who had been engaged in a mud fight in bikinis stopped and each grabbed an arm. "We got a group."

Danielle noticed that no one else had bothered to even look up, she sighed, and she would have to intervene yet again. Using her powers of the mind and flipping her hair, everybody joined up in groups.

"She's good." The man said in awe, "Are you going to let go?"

"NO!" Beth and Savannah yelled in unison, "YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE USSS!"

They had begun foaming at the mouth, like rabid butterflies, which had flown through the window.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" the class was in a stake of panic, the fish tanks went on lock down.

'Save yourselves." Danielle yelled grabbing Colleens limp body off the floor and busting through the wall, as she ran out, she remembered, "I forgot my hall pass."

"Ahhh" colleen screamed. I have a migraine, as Danielle ran down the hall with her.

One of the boys in the class looked up from his group a few second later and asks, "Wait what happened?" The girl next to him shrugged and they returned to their work.

Down deep within the bowels of the school, so deep that it is incomprehensible (which took two people to spell) how deep it really was probably close to the center of the earth, no a few miles from china, but that a debate for a different fic or mock trial.

His rabid butterflies returned to him, as he finished his opera, he called it, "The Opera."

His pets told him of a gorgeous brunette in a bikini, though short, so short she needed a step stool to kiss any guy, ahem, but gorgeous none the less , with great legs, and dainty toes with huge calluses. A hard working woman, woman of the sweat and dirt, and Dance!

Yes he would have her! She would be his date to PROM! And bear him many children. He wanted to have his babies with her. He had to formulate a plan! A most devious plan to remove her from her lover's side, the man with no shoes.

To the Disney movies! Because everybody knows how evil Disney is, in fact the reincarnation of everything Disney was in math class, far above his liar, filling the world with her evil.

Back to above the school,

"HI GUYS!" the girl sang, "A dream is a wish your heart makes, When you're fast asleep, In dreams you lose your heartaches, Whatever you wish for, you keep"

It was very scary. Scarier than your worst nightmare, scarier than… "KATIE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!" Colleen yelled, as her and Danielle came into their secret base, also known as Sunders room.

"But I feel so free! Hey where are Beth and Savannah?" She asked as a group of pirates ran past with Mrs. Rosendorf, who screamed, "Remember girls DNA quiz on Thursday."

Katie only rolled her eyes, petting her legs, as colleen muttered, "That will be easy. No one cares."

Danielle with her most gorgeous shelf, smiling as she sat on the desk, "I predict," She paused, "I predict that we shall be joined by others very soon."

"Really by who?" Katie asked as she attacked the floor, "It used to be just rats we had to worry about, now we've got these man eating octopuses."

Colleen watched as the last tentacle disappeared beneath the floor, "Hmm, the freshies will never believe us."

"Yeah. They didn't believe us when we told them that The People Who Love Texting Club, was really a cult who sacrifices the people who texts the most and get fed to the dark evil beneath school."

"Is that what happened to Kelly?" Katie asked

"I think so. My parents think she's hiding out in American Eagle." Colleen answered, "Beth what are you doing?" as she and savannah walked dragging the now very tied up body of David Tennent.

"What do you plan to do with me," he yelled looking up from the floor.

Katie just smiled her worst scary smile and David's life passed before his eyes it took a long time, he had lived a long life, when it finally end he found that the crazy blonde was being sprayed by the by the two bronze haired ones as she screamed about keeping his shoes. "Hiss! Hiss!" She hissed at them, before running into the TV, which flipped on and began to leak. "Get a plunger!" Danielle told them flicking her hand, "Are you okay?"

David looked up from his spot on the floor, "I'm being taken hostage by five teenage girls. I'm not sure about where I am and I have the strangest urge to pull out a sonic screw driver, and signing Shakespeare sonnets. Other than that I'm good."

"Don't worry. I'm sure they'll get tiered of carrying you/ dragging you around."

"Lovely. Is that TV supposed to be doing that?" He asked, "Perhaps your American TV is different."

Indeed the TV was leaking like someone had tried to flush a toy down it. Suddenly a hand shot out of the TV, along with a rush of blackish oily liquid followed by the rest of a gross body that reeked of an old swamp rat who died a week ago. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Everybody screamed.

"Katie what did you do?"

Katie shrugged, "What do you want?" Katie felt strong in her pink boxers.

'Beth, Danielle, Colleen, Savannah" she paused, her dark hair fell in her face, "In seven days I will be having a sweet 16 party, it will be the biggest blow out of the season. The only rule, you have to bring your own towel and you must dress formally."

"What about me?" Katie asked

The dead girl hissed, and crawled back into the TV.

"Why don't I get invited to these things?"

But everybody had already left, for their next class leaving Katie to mope in a puddle of moodiness.

* * *

well thats it for now review please even if it's just to tell me how much you hate it KTHNXBYE


End file.
